They are the same skills needed for successful negotiation. They can help school business leaders negotiate memorandums of understanding and intergovernmental agreements with nonprofit organizations and government agencies in ways that keep the district’s best interests at heart while also serving as good stewards of public assets and trust.
Know Thyself
During my time at Metro Center, I’d like to say that I was a quick study who implemented my mentors’ wisdom with ease. I was not.
I was hired to provide technical assistance and training on race, gender, and disproportionality in school districts. I was often called in after things got really bad, generally after the state accountability system kicked in or there was negative press involving the district. My job was to get folks talking about race and gender issues in profound, meaningful ways that served as catalysts for systemic change. The work was not easy.
Fortunately, Metro Center dedicated substantial time and money to ensure that employees received high-quality, ongoing training to understand themselves better. Unfortunately, my personal growth was circuitous at best.
On my first performance evaluation, LaRuth Gray gave me the following feedback:
You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em,
Know when to fold ‘em,
Know when to walk away,
And know when to run.
“The Gambler” tells the story of the risks and rewards of life vis-à-vis a game of poker (Schlitz 1976). Through the many hands dealt, you are the constant. The better you know yourself and how to read and respond appropriately in the moment, the better the odds are in your favor.
The core of negotiation is having difficult conversations with people who hold power and want things that you may not want or that are not in the best interest of your organization.
Gray’s feedback served as a catalyst. Choosing to engage in work that cut to the core emotions associated with identity and belonging required me to know myself, which took time, work, and a willingness to be vulnerable.
Brené Brown (2012) describes vulnerability as “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” For those of us who have experienced discrimination because of who we love, our skin color, or our physical or mental abilities, and for those of us who have experienced the trauma of having our body, mind, or spirit violated, vulnerability often brings up intense feelings of shame and fear that make it difficult to let our guard down. This is especially true in high-stakes and emotionally fraught situations like negotiations. It will feel counterintuitive to be vulnerable; however, there is power in doing so.
School business leaders need to attend to the messy work of reckoning with deeply held beliefs, biases, and emotional triggers so that meaningful relationships are built and progress is made for our students, staff, and community. No one course of action will work universally. Some find that therapy, training, or reading sociology or critical literacy books works. Others find what they seek by hiking, biking, fixing cars, baking, or making art. Whatever it takes, do it.
The core of negotiation is having difficult conversations with people who hold power and want things that you may not want or that are not in the best interest of your organization. You can’t negotiate well if you don’t know who you are, what pushes your buttons, and how to recognize your triggers and biases before the other party reads you and gets the upper hand.
Lessons Learned
The same enduring habits of successful learners that teachers do their best to instill in students are necessary for successful negotiation.
Come prepared. Prepare before any meeting with a business, community organization, or government agency. Make sure you know who the players are and what purpose they serve in the organization. Talk with colleagues to better understand the history of the relationship, what works, and what does not. Read existing agreements. Get advice from key people in your district. Most agreements boil down to legalities and money; so more specifically, seek advice from legal counsel and the district’s finance leaders.
Stay organized. About 24 hours before the meeting, contact everyone. Share the agenda, solicit feedback, and offer to facilitate the meeting. Immediately before the meeting, take time to self-reflect on the meeting goals and desired outcome. Start the meeting with a grounding exercise. It can be informal or specific to the moment, but it should always be intentional. Take personal notes throughout the meeting. Set target dates, deadlines, and metrics for success.
Engage. Pace the meeting to get through the agenda in the time allocated; however, don’t be bound to the agenda; it is more important to listen to what people are saying at any given moment. Watch for nonverbal clues to see whether what the other party’s members are saying is aligned with what their body language is communicating. When both check out, move the agenda along. When they don’t coincide, slow down and ask clarifying questions to uncover what isn’t being said.
This part of the negotiation is similar to a dance: movements matter as much as words, with each stakeholder attempting to artfully glide about the space. It’s easy to get swept away in this part of the negotiation. Don’t. Remain pragmatic and bring the group back to the key points to keep the negotiation moving forward.
Communicate clearly. During closure, summarize the agreements made and seek clarity before ending the meeting. A widely cited comment attributed to writer Robert McCloskey explains why clear communication and checking for understanding are so important: “I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”
Conduct a needs assessment for every stakeholder and make a commitment to incorporate their needs into the negotiation process.
It is worth the time to make sure that each point of agreement is written down and verbally repeated back to the group; then, check in with each individual to ensure that he or she agrees with the point. Before ending, summarize, confirm who is responsible for which next steps and by when, discuss who should attend the next meeting, and suggest a few dates and times to meet. After the meeting, take a day to let the conversation settle; then, send a summary email to all participants.
Use your resources. School districts are microcosms of society. They are filled with skilled individuals who represent most sectors of the economy. The majority of those individuals are dedicated to the organization and, whenever they are asked, are willing to help the people within it succeed. Many of those individuals, however, are not asked to contribute their ideas and knowledge nearly as often as they should be.
When tasked with negotiating an agreement, identify colleagues who will become end users of the agreement. Conduct a needs assessment for every stakeholder and make a commitment to incorporate their needs into the negotiation process. That commitment will help inspire a shared vision for the terms of the agreement because, as leadership gurus Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner (2012) say, “The best leaders understand it’s not their personal, idiosyncratic view of the future that is important; it’s the aspirations of all their constituents that matter most.”
Bring in colleagues with specialized knowledge when needed. When negotiating with city agencies, the agreement generally involves discussions of property and real assets. Rather than pretending to understand specialized aspects of the agreement that are outside my knowledge base, I bring in our senior planner, who can speak to property lines, easements, and construction history, or our facilities director, who can speak to grounds and capital improvements.
Throughout the negotiation process, I have solicited feedback from athletic directors, principals, and colleagues in business services, operations, legal, information technology, communications, instruction, and human resources.
Understand the superintendent’s and the board’s vision and direction regarding a particular relationship or agreement. It would be unwise to enter a negotiation without their support and to negotiate an agreement without understanding how it intersects with established board policy and regulation and the district’s strategic plan.
Be nice to others. Political scientists Charles Lindblom and Edward Woodhouse wrote extensively about incrementalism in policy and decision making, advocating for putting forth winnable proposals because doing otherwise would stir “adverse responses or retaliations from others.” This approach to change plays out in government negotiations on legislation, funding, and special projects. When two parties come together, things get done. When they disagree, the government still moves along, but the result is akin to watching a dysfunctional family bicker over turkey legs and the Dallas Cowboys during Thanksgiving dinner.
Negotiating agreements is no different. It is wise to put forth reasonable proposals that are backed by data and policy and are aligned to the district’s needs over the next three to five years. Taking this approach shows a commitment to negotiating in good faith with reasonable metrics for success.
From time to time, however, negotiations take place where the other party doesn’t play nice. The other party may deploy deliberate deception tactics, such as phony facts, ambiguous authority, psychological warfare, personal attacks, and extreme or escalating demands, no matter how unrealistic. Such tactics are designed to stress the negotiations and bend your will to the other party’s demands.
Don’t give in. Instead, take a step back and reflect on your values and purpose for negotiating the agreement. Confer with those individuals who know the confidential nature of the negotiation. Set the work aside for a few days before reengaging. Don’t let the bully win—and don’t become a bully in the process. Instead, remain kind but firm. When it is time to reengage, be ready to tell the story of your organization and the negotiations in a way that allows the data, evidence, and policy to guide the negotiations.
Work as a team aligned with the factual information needed to share your district’s story proactively.
Sometimes, a negotiation becomes disruptive to the point that the nonprofit or government agency calls the media, community members, or other departments within a school district to advocate for a particular position. Thankfully, that doesn’t happen often; however, when it does, reach out to the communications department and make sure that they are prepared to field questions. Work as a team aligned with the factual information needed to share your district’s story proactively.
Finally, Tip O’Neill’s catchphrase “all politics is local” still rings true, particularly when negotiating agreements. Connections run deep in public school systems and local governments; you never know whose relative, friend, or neighbor you may be working with, so it’s wise to be professional, courteous, and not disparage others.
Stewardship
At some point, negotiations come to an end. Agreements are written. Both parties’ legal counsels review and revise. The boards or city managers sign off, and the agreement formally takes effect.
With signatures in place, take a moment to celebrate. Personally thank those involved in making the agreement happen. It’s a simple way to recognize their contributions and goes a long way in forging relationships that last beyond job titles and the organizations we work in. I have made many lifelong friends that I can lean on when the going gets tough because we’ve done difficult work together.
After celebrating, it’s back to work. This phase of the agreement reminds me of gardening. The most beautiful garden is still subject to weeds and insects, temperature fluctuations, and wind; it needs tending. So out there I remain, tending to the agreement by making sure that stipulations are followed, relationships remain collaborative, and we act as good stewards of our public assets and the communities we serve.
References
Brown, B. C. 2012. Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. New York: Avery.
Kouzes, J., and B. Posner. 2012. The Leadership Challenge: How To Make Extraordinary Things Happen in Organizations. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Lindblom, C., and E. Woodhouse. 1993. The Policy-making Process. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall.
Schlitz, D. 1976. The Gambler. Sony/ATV Music Publishing. Sung by Kenny Rogers.